The first blog on my TV-watching habits!

I am no connoisseur in reviewing television, and I'll be unapologetic about this fact all through. So, if at all, while reading it ever strikes you how obvious the stuff is, then that's because it is. Indian TV is too obvious and its viewers (like yours truly) more so.

So generally speaking, its basically my own experience of watching some of the most popular television soaps (which is what I have started to do daily, all thanks to the finished exams) and I have planned to keep this as light as possible. Though any attempt at humour is purely, I repeat purely incidental. I can't be funny when I write. And I can't write when I am funny.

Starting on a funny note, it took me some weeks to recover from the shock of My Family (for the uninitiated, its a British comedy-of-errors) being snapped off air and Star Plus's SaamneWaali Khidki does provide some decent respite. For starters, there's Archana Puran Singh (who, I humbly think is one of the best comedians around) and her wild-wacky face-churning expressions can easily have anyone in stitches. The surprised, bossy look she sports for her no-holds-barred working woman role is rather very tastefully overplayed by this female Jim Carrey and it took me sometime to actually believe that indeed there was such fantastic sarcasm in this one. Fab one-liners and very fresh indeed. If only, Star could dump those Shaka Laka Boom Booms, Son Paris, Hatims, Trikaals to give this one a decent showing time. As of now, the viewing time-table is definitely atrocious for I still can't fathom why on earth would someone be in a mood of watching this at 8-8:30 am (holy cow!) and 5:00 pm (tea-time, anyone?!)

Thankfully, Star's other comic caper Khichdi continues its riotous charade. The Parikh family incidentally had a basketball match and besides the usual Hansa-Prafful retarded talks (today Hansa asked: "Hai Hai Prafful, yeh victory kya hota hai", to which Prafful replied "Hansa... nakli baalon ka pedh hota hai na.. bas wohi to!" The guy had actually mistook victory for wigtree ROFL stuff). But what took the cake was the conversation between Babuji and their sardar neighbour Parminder. Actually Babuji wanted the ball from this nitwitted guy and this is what he and his nephew said:

Babuji's nephew: Arre parminderji, aapki zip khuli hai!
The Sardar searched his shirt buttons.
Babuji (to his nephew): Arre naalayak, tujhe pataa nahin hai, iss sardar ki ganga ulti behti hai. Dekh Main kya karta hoon.
Babuji (to Parminder): Bete parminder, tere collar ko kya hua.
The Sardar frantically starts checking his trouser-pockets, leaving the ball in the struggle. (All this to our mirth!)

I really won't be surprised if Khichdi acquires a cult status. It really really deserves it.

Talking of "k"ult status, the Ekta's K-series seem to be in a league of their own. Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii now actually has 2 Parvatis. Yup, while the usual saree-clad jagmaata has got a new face (and a new actress, meaning some respite from Saakshi Tanwar's woefully artificial screechings), the old Parvati (Saakshi) has funnily got a twin in, guess where, Melbourne. But of course, Saakshi's valiant attempts to mouth English dialogues and screech maintaining a make-up laden face absolutely intact all through is still there. In fact there are so many bloody co-incidences that the newfound twin which Om thinks is the old Parvati, and sillily enough keeps barging into her, mouthing "Tum Hi Parvati Ho na", is everywhere. If grapewine is to be believed (as Star UK is one month behind the Star India), the newfound twin is the ACTUAL PARVATI. Now can you believe that??!?? Why would someone run away from her own house, pretend to be someone else's family, fiancee and lambast her own family? Even plant another woman in her own place?? Shit.. I wonder how such retrogressive stuff finds its audience. And boy it really does have an audience.

Quite the opposite, the other "K" serial, Kkehna Hai Kuchh Mujhko, which has the brisk and saucy Pallavi Joshi playing the wife in search of her identity (yawn, yawn!)is suddenly being so holy that she doesn't suspect her husband's extra marital affair even when not one, but two letters from the maternity clinic arrive. Now, now... did somebody sing "Main to aarti pukaroon re, apne pati ki". Thankfully, the saintly wifey has gone to the clinic and finds herself facing both her hubby and souten sitting comfortably opposite the doctor. The confrontation scene is due for next weekend. I'll keep you posted LOL. The serial thankfully speaks and feels a language that's younger than the normal "K" bandwagon but the usual present of bitches and dogs still hurts me.

Mediocrity has become synonymous with Zee and Sony considering the efficiency and frequency with which they are churning out grossly unwatchable stuff. Zee's Lavanya is as old as moulded bread and the writers seem to be in too heavy a hangover of Bollywood. Ditto for Kittie Party, which has deteriorated to such a level that even a glimpse of it while surfing channels gives me the shivers. Quite a pity considering it boasted of some very seasoned and natural actors like Shweta Salve, Achint Kaur, Kavita Kapoor and Kiran Kumar. Had this blog seen the light of the day a few months earlier, I might have jotted a para down on Kittie Party, but now by doing so, I am not sure to whom it would be a disservice-- my time or my blog.

Talking of Shweta Salve, the brilliant lass makes a radiant entry to a soggy Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin and the serial might soon see its hay days. I can't tolerate the nonsense on play there for a minute, but catching a recap after eons revealed that there's some depth sinking into it finally. Always wondered how can someone as pea-brained as Armaan suri could run a fashion house. To top this all, Mr.Apoorva Agnihotri is rather too animated, too pretentious and too artificial for my liking. And so is Parmeet Sethi, who, of late has taken his sidekick job rather too seriously. The caricatures of Jassi's best friend Nandu and her father are as inconsistent and as confusing as Jassi's irritating attire. This supposedly "realistic" fable comes as unstuck as Sony's other dent at middle class, namely Yeh Meri Life Hai. Infact the resemblance in the characterisation between the two protagonists is so uncannily similar (all this exagerrated self-pity, sob-queen), that one can easily keep watching one and be assured of having the track record of another.

Rather afraid of ending this blog on a bleak note, the two flashes in the pan definitely come from Sab TV and Zee. Kuchch Dil Se, a talk show on Sab, hosted by clap-and-I'll-cry Smriti-Tulsi-Iraani comes up with such socially relevant topics everyday, that its almost enlightening. Today's kick at Indian spurious-drug industry (which is, incidentally, a business rolling in millions of lives and money) was very well-pronounced though the dignitaries called on the set were so squeamish and diplomatic of offering any relief to a victim's father of one such fake life-saving drug (his daughter--awaiting neurosurgery--is awaiting compensation for 2 years), that it was shameful to even sit on your couch and watch it. There was Smriti at one end asking at the top of her voice "Can you offer any relief to this father?" "Can we have advertisements on companies under scrutiny for the common man?", and the MDs and President of Nicholas Pharma were dumb! Simply beats me!

Zee's short-story thriller show, Kaun, filling up the 2 weeks between the gawdawful Manshaa (did anyone actually watch this?) and the seemingly interesting Tamanna House showed two entertaining and chilling stories. Nothing pathbreaking, but very unpredictable. Seasoned performances, and know what... each of them just 4 episodes long. Now, in today's TV world which is driven by TRPs can you beat that? Incidentally enough, the show shall be shifted to the already packed 11:00 timeslot to dump Zee's yet another fiasco "Lipstick". Thank God for such nano-mercies.

Of course, much of the drama today was provided by the Tehelka folks with another "revelation" of medical certificates being forged by a doc in mental asylum to declare wives mad and hubbies free from their clutches. Quite miserable indeed, but my first reaction was "So what's new?" And yours sincerely Star News chronicled the whole episode shamelessly for the whole of 26 hours today.

So much so for sincere journalism!

An exasperated Karann now exits!